And now all we have is each other
And a little memory to cling to
And still you won't let me go on alone.
I know you're tired of following
my elusive dreams and schemes
for they're only fleeting things,
my elusive dreams.
(From "My Elusive Dreams," by David Houston)
You marry the people you meet. If singer-actress Annette Funicello had the great good fortune to meet me at a certain age we would have married (OK, I was only 15; but I would have done a better job than the bum she did marry).
If you are greatly blessed of God, as was I, He allows you to meet someone who will -- if very, very blessed -- put up with your elusive dreams. The one He chose for me is nine months and two weeks younger. My theory is that upon my birth there was no one available who would have met my un-meetable needs, and after a two-week search He created Kay for me.
We met by what we later learned to call "divine appointment" on Feb. 12 1965, and were married the following November 6th. Since then she has followed me down a lot of roads I would not travel again, and probably would not have taken if youth had not blinded their dead end.
She followed me to Springfield
Actually, I really was a good catch at 22, even her mother thought so. Had a good, responsible job. But, as she quickly learned, there was this dream of working with my late brother, Terry. It was in Illinois she presented me with our first born, a son.
She returned with me to Missouri
Here we would have our second son, my prospects would diminish, and my physical abilities would begin to diminish indeed. Here, too, began the dream of attending Bible College -- not to be a minister I assured her, but to be a better servant. Knowing, of course, minister and servant have the same meaning.
She returned with me to Illinois
The last, the very last thing Kay ever thought she'd be was a preacher's wife. She did well in the role, probably better than I did in mine. In these years I faced losing her forever, and she suffered loss only woman understand.
She followed me back to Missouri
There were fair years and poor, changes and dreams, plans and hopes, moves and small towns, and three much loved babies. There were times of living by faith, usually her faith. There were times of roller-coaster style self-employment and fleeting minutes of actual ministry. When my health and life fell apart, she followed one more dream.
She came with me to Indiana
We've been here since 1996. It is the only place I have ever felt was permanent, the only place which has been a destination and not a dream. Here our last baby, Benjamin, came to manhood and began his search. Here I wish my mortal remains lie beside hers forever, while we share dreams of the good things brought me by her willingness to follow my elusive dreams.
Happy 45th Anniversary Kay -- stick with me another 45 years, I may eventually get it right.
David L. Lewis is an observer of and sometimes commentator on life who may be reached via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.