How to Stand Alone and Enjoy It...I think.

I was brought up to be a person who turns the other cheek when upset and that a soft answer turneth away wrath. My thought this week is what if I wasn't?

What if I actually told people how they REALLY made me feel instead of writing it down or hiding behind fake smiles and an upturned head? Would it set the world on fire or just give me an ulcer? It never ceases to amaze me that because of my physical size and my outgoing nature, people assume that I would be one to be confrontational and well, almost on the verge of a bully. It's once they truly get to know me that they realize the truth. I am actually quite congenial in caustic situations. I tend to just let the person say WHATEVER they want about and to me and let it go.

Now I bet some of you who are reading this, are thinking, "There is no way this could be how she is! She would NEVER back down and keep quiet!" Lol. Let's remember back to one of my first blogs where I spilled my guts and admitted that in my prior marriage abuse had taken place. Yep, that's right, I am a wimp. Or am I?

You tell me..who has the true upper hand? The one who listens and then without great fanfare walks away or the raving, loud monster woman that carries on as though possessed? Or could it be the woman who strikes the balance in-between? The woman who seems to be able to convey her point of view and handles conflict with nary a raised tone nor an evil look.

I have many women friends and I watch them intently and survey how they handle conflict as it arises in their lives. I have some precious friends whom are the sweet ones that no one would ever dream that they are the devil in disguise who might take out your tires and make your life a living hell. I also have the pleasure of knowing other's who are so reserved but have revealed to me that they drive out into cornfields and scream into the night sky and that seems to satiate their frustration.

The Women's Entertainment channel has a show called the Secret Lives of Women and in each episode there is character similarity to one of my friends. Personally, I have always admired women who spit venom and then don't care. I have also seen the other side of that. They do care and over the years have developed a "tough skin." It's funny how much of an oxy moron the term "tough skin" is. It's all an act. They do hurt and most time, they hurt the deepest of us all. There isn't anyone who cares about nothing at all. They have just learned how to be proficient in presenting themselves in that manner. Even our most hardened serial killers committed crimes because they felt pain so great that it overtook them. It doesn't excuse his or her maniacal behavior, but there is no one person completely void without feeling.

There are some of us who use screenames on this site as our cornfields. We can do it anonymously and really vent about what frustrates us. We even attack others on this site because we get tired of hearing what we may define as "crap".

I don't like some of the people I deal with everyday. I truly think they are spineless jellyfish. Am I any better of a person if I don't admit that my actions are dishonest and that my silence keeps aiding and abetting their cowardly behaviors?

We are all raised differently. Was yours to be blunt and not give any concern for another's feelings? Maybe you're the wallflower or do you see yourself as the woman who is able to handle conflict without blinking an eye? Which way is better? Would you change how you handle conflict and confrontation?

I am eagerly awaiting answers to what I am liberally terming a "life question." If you don't want to answer in the comment section then feel free to e-mail me. Out of my own personal curiosity, I want to know who sleeps better at night. Thanks in advance for your frank and honest responses.

Karen Meister can be contacted at: ksframeofmind@yahoo.com or http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=7... you can add me on Facebook!