My thoughts about our great country

Nicole,

I think cultural traditions and practices are like foods. What you grow up with seems perfectly normal while things you aren't used to seem strange and alien but can still be tasty and nutritious.

What we experience even on this forum when we express an opinion that is different from another's is another viewing it as alien OR it could be from their limited experience with it.

For example, you wrote about home schooling. Some have had good experiences with it and some have not. Comments most likely came from their own experiences with those who had been homeschooled, both good and bad.

The reader has to take ALL the comments and apply them to their own situation.

Same goes for marriage and having children. While it is the accepted practice in this culture for a man and a woman to get married and raise a family, not having all these criteria doesn't make what they have NOT a family.

There are some real benefits to having what is considered a "typical" family unit in this society. General acceptance, appearance at least of security to a certain degree of commitment from one's parents, assurance of paternity, etc etc, all help cement one's self image but they are not always necessary when love and true caring for the other family members first are present. I know examples of many non typical family units, that have a single parent, two parents of the same sex, or some other adult who is a parental figure that have successfully raised a competent, socially healthy children.

I also know "typical" families that have failed their children. So long as the parent[s] put other family members before themselves and fully prepare their child to survive in this world when the time comes when they are no longer there to help them, it will work. Game playing between parents who are not married to win points with a child is harmful to the child's full development and they do this for their own benefit and not the child's and is not really an expression of true love. Good cop/bad cop does not work unless both parents have the same goal. SOME of those same parents who may not yet be in a solid relationship with their spouse, may continue to play the dating game to win popularity of both their partner and their child instead of acting out of true love and a solidly formed partnership may fail at both parenthood and in their spousal relationship. This is the question I have in my mind when I see when I read about a child born to parents who are not yet married. My hope is that they are together because they have already found this bond and not that they just are because of a more primal decision that resulted in a baby and that is really their only common link. Sometimes waiting to see if they are really going to form a bond is better for the child than for the child to have to withstand a family that is not formed out of love all his life...even if his true family ends up being not typical.

This is different though than what your grandmother said however. There are situations where a real wrong is occurring but too many prefer to not be confrontational as it isn't perceived as being "nice". That can be just as wrong. If an adult is beating his child in Walmart parking lot for example, it would be very uncomfortable to call 911 and challenge his actions [I am talking beating here, not slapping a bottom of a toddler]until the police get there. Another example might be not doing anything when seeing someone leave a party intoxicated. While others may not see this as the act of a 'nice' person to confront someone, it is truly a good act.

So you see it sometimes depends on what the circumstances are and what one's definition of "nice" is. Sometimes saying nothing can be just as bad as the bad act or comment not refuted and that point of view really needs to be out there in the open no matter how bad we might think it is because it too reminds us that we are a diverse population.

The problem I have with the comments are the screen names that some hide behind. I do not believe that some would have the courage to say some of the things they say if they had to reveal who they were. Some say this protects them. In a few cases it might but I believe many more that are strictly put downs of individuals are acts of cowardice. As cowardly as those who did and said things with white hoods on their heads when they are unaccepting of things that are a little different than from what they are accustomed to.

Have a good day.