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Saturday, Oct. 10, 2015
Getting OldPosted Thursday, June 10, 2010, at 7:37 PM
My parents are a lot smarter now that I am older. When I was a teenager, the world's problems were fairly simple and I could solve most, if not all of them, if someone would have just put me in charge. Even though I now have more college than is good for human health, I know a lot less now. I understand much better that quote from Socrates, "The only thing I know is that I know nothing."
Did you go to your grandparents 50th wedding anniversary? I did. When was the last time you personally knew someone who celebrated a golden anniversary? Speaking of grandparents, can you imagine them tolerating a child throwing a tempter tantrum in a store or at church? How many of today's parents are brave enough to spank a child in public?
A short time ago, when my grandson was amazed at how high Sherman can jump, I quipped, "Beagles have springs in their butt." With a quizzical look, he asked, "Grandpa, what's a spring?" How do you explain a spring to someone who has never seen one? Watches and clocks don't have springs anymore; neither do car hoods, trunks, or even beds. When was the last time you saw a pogo stick? Everything is electronic now.
A little while ago, I bought a candy bar at a gas station. (I am not much of a candy eater.) I knew it was unrealistic to expect a candy bar to still be 50 cents. It is hard to find a can of soda at that price; although there are a couple of places left. Sixty or 75 cents would have been expected. However, $1.50 for a normal sized candy bar caught me off guard. Do you remember buying a bottle of soda for 25 cents and getting a nickel back for returning the bottle when you were done? I remember when you could get a candy bar or a pack of gum for a dime.
It is incredibly humid here. I predict that in the future, by evolution or divine intervention, native Hoosiers will eventually have a small set of gills behind their ears. This humidity also prevents me from denying my aging condition. Just before my 30th birthday, I was sleeping on the ground the evening before the opening day of deer season. I woke up with a pain in my hip that I just couldn't walk off. Now, whenever the humidity starts to feel like it is getting over 190 percent (which is 30 or more days per year) that pain comes back.
Speaking of "old age pains," try falling down. Way back when, when I fell, I would practically bounce. Sure, I had skinned hands, elbows, and knees, but that was relatively insignificant. Reaching a bit too far on a very short stepladder had me tumbling kettle over tea cup. After the excitement was over, I hurt in places I didn't even know I had.
Recently, a son repaid a debt of a favor with a case of beer. He picked up Little Kings. I am quite nostalgic about Little Kings. When I was in college, a case of the little green seven ounce bottles could be had for $4 and thus was a popular choice. (Remembering $4 for a case of beer is a sign of age right there.) My son and I had a couple more than a couple. Nothing remotely resembling like days of old. Still, I woke up the next day miserable. Apparently, another effect of growing older is a greatly reduced threshold for a hangover and greatly increased misery.
I remember my father quoting Winston Churchill stating, "youth is wasted on the young." I never really understood what that meant. I understand that quote now.
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