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Sex, lies and secret agentsPosted Thursday, November 15, 2012, at 8:47 AM
Last Friday, Four-Star General David Petraeus, Director of the CIA, suddenly resigned.
It was discovered he was having an adulterous affair with his biographer, Paula Braodwell.
Apparently, in Washington, adultery is a firing offense.
Thankfully, our Congressmen and Senators don't fool around ... with their staff, pages, lobbyists, journalists, foreign spies, waitresses ...
If you don't remember, General Petraeus is the one who came up with the surge in Afghanistan.
I wonder how the idea of a surge came to mind?
Am I the only one who is shocked that America's top spy couldn't keep an affair secret?
I always thought that the number one trait among members of the clandestine services was the ability to get in, get out and not get caught.
If you are going to have spy-masters doing dangerous and racy things, you need to have a "Bond girl," to make the story complete.
Fortunately, our heroine is Paula Broadwell. Among Bond girl names, it's not as good as Holly Goodhead, but it is better than Xenia Onatopp. It'll do.
I don't know about the spy-master General, but I would much rather be caught by the Russians for spying than caught by She Who Must Be Obeyed for fooling around.
With the Russians, I might be kept safe until I could be exchanged for one of their agents held by us.
If not that, at least there is the hope for a quick and clean execution.
Didn't anyone at West Point teach our military leaders the first rule when committing adultery?
No pictures, no video, no audio, don't write anything down, deny, deny, deny!
In this electronic age, e-mails are even more permanent than paper.
With paper, there is only one copy to worry about. With e-mail, copies exist in every computer routing the message from origin to destination.
At the very least, you would expect the general to have heard of the no-so-secret Carnivore system run by the NSA that reads every e-mail sent or received in America and beyond.
I would expect that e-mails to and from government institutions would receive extra attention.
Perhaps the reason we have been having international cyber attacks on our major banks is because the guys at the CIA were a bit distracted.
Apparently, the brave general was ready for another bayonet charge.
Not only was he having an affair with his biographer, the general sent more than 30,000 racy e-mails to Florida "socialite" Jill Kelley.
By the way, I want to know how you get the job "socialite?" How many adulterous affairs do you have to have before you are qualified to apply?
Now I am not a socialite and have never met one in person.
However, I know that even if I have no idea what I am doing, at least one other person in town knows exactly what I am doing and he or she has a dozen or more friends who will soon find out.
Being a military guy, a love triangle would never do if you can have a pentagon. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we do in fact have a love pentagon.
Apparently, Marine Corps Four-Star General Allen was also a fan of Ms. Jill Kelley. The two of them also exchanged thousands of e-mails that one investigator described as "phone sex by e-mail."
Don't think for a minute that Ms. Broadwell was going to take all of this lying down. The only one she was willing to share with was a wife or two.
So, she and Ms. Kelley exchanged warning and threatening e-mails about their relationships with these men.
Perhaps the piece-de-resistance of this sordid affair involves the FBI.
Apparently, an unidentified FBI Special Agent was sending topless photos of himself to socialite Jill Kelley. And thus the love pentagon is now complete.
This particular "G" man was not part of the investigation, not part of the cyber crimes unit, but was an avid admirer of Ms. Kelley. He (or she) was eventually instructed to stay away from the case.
The spurned "G" man is the one who blew the lid off this boiling cauldron.
Now the special agent is under investigation.
But this is, after all, our nation's capital, where the monument to George Washington looks a lot more like a tribute to Bill Clinton.
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