Finding ways to express our thoughts

Tonight I am talking with Kambryn about her volleyball and softball. She mentions how she really wishes Kreyton could talk to her. We talk about ways she can talk to him. I suggest that I email him to his account. We talk about what she wants to say to him. She looks at me with those innocent child 8-year-old eyes and says, "My heart hurts for bubby."

Child loss in unnatural and out of order for the way things are suppose to happen. This isn't a journey we chose. We now forever belong to a club we never asked to join. We all share a bond a pain that no one can or wants to think about. The first few weeks decisions were made that no parents should have to make. My son went from a happy, healthy 10-year-old to a patient in a lifeline helicopter to struggling to survive in a matter of minutes. Now, we are left with memories. I would be lying if I told you that my heart isn't ripped to shreds and I don't beg to have him here in my arms every day. I visit the burial site, watch videos he made, view pictures, read stories classmates wrote about him, just to capture a few more memoires.

Kreyton, Kambryn, and myself shared our lives together for seven years. We added family members last September. Those seven years providing the three of us more bonding time than ever imaginable. I was able to take Kreyton and Kambryn to work with me. I was allowed the opportunity to have summers off with them. Kreyton was just gaining his independence and transforming into an older, wiser Kreyton. I am a realist in that I in NO way think that he or Kambryn are perfect. They make many mistakes. However, they are children. Children that I helped bring into this Earth and shared hopes, desires, and dreams like every parent. Now, that is all changed for my family.

I often think people think if they see you out in the community, you must be better. Better from what? My child going to Heaven? I'm not sure too many parents that would be better. I know that Kreyton was here and shared 10 ¾ years with me but, it wasn't enough. I know the pain my mother goes through every day. I watch Kambryn try to make some sort of sense of this at age 8. I think Kreyton has so much unfinished work to do that in my heart I believe keeping his legacy alive in the hearts and minds of those close to him will allow a portion of his unfinished work to prevail.

I am working on helping children in the community and creating his foundation in Kreyton's name to continue helping children in our community participate in the things close to his heart. I want to support other grieving parents whom too are struggling to survive on a daily basis. It is the single most difficult task I think we could be called to do. Yet, we have to continue fighting the good fight. We will try our best each day to remain #Kreytonstrong.

Mavery Bridgewaters is Kreyton's mom.