How Do We Communicate? Or, ‘Say What?’
Communicating, trying to clearly express our feelings to another person and then trying to understand them, can be difficult. There are so many things that can cause a good train of thought to run right off the track.
The word communicate is from Latin meaning to share. To communicate there’s at least two essential parts. There has to be a transmitter and a receiver. One person talks, the other person listens. Then vice versa. But it’s not just exchanging words. Intent plays a big part in the process. Specific information or feelings have to be transferred then those specifics must be received, as the transmitter intended, to accomplish successful communication.
Intent can throw a funny wrinkle in the works, too. We see politicians saying stuff on TV all the time. And they are adamant! But if a big voting group gets mad at what they said the politicians quickly change their stance. They say they misspoke. Or they say, “After further investigation on this matter I’ve decided to approach it from a different avenue”. Or they say the media quoted them out of context and that’s not what they meant. And that seems to make everything OK for them. We ordinary people don’t get that kind of an intent do-over.
There’s multiple ways to transmit information now. Back in the day when I was a kid if I wanted to talk to someone, I met with them and spoke to them face to face. I could hear the intonation in their voice and see their body language when we exchanged information. That greatly affected how I interpreted what they were trying to communicate to me. Then we got telephones and I could talk to friends without seeing them. The body language was lost. It made a difference.
Now days with texting, tweeting, Facebook and other electronic devises people seldom communicate by actually looking at and talking with each other. With texting there is no body language or voice intonation. That can cause misinterpretation. But that’s the way it is today.
Most younger people “thumb talk.” I’ve seen two of my grandchildren sitting on the couch next to each other texting, each other. I’ve asked why they don’t just talk. They say, “Grandma, this is how young people talk to each other now.” I had to learn how to text so I could communicate with my grandkids because they don’t use phones (except to take pictures).
And then there’s people who do talk face to face but intentionally send out mixed messages. Have you ever received one of those backhanded compliments? They say things like, “You’re a lot smarter than you look.” Or they say, “You dress well for someone your size.” If you act hurt and offended by the insult they say, “What? I just complimented you. I said you looked nice.” One time I heard a woman I worked with tell another coworker, “My fingernails could never look nice like yours cause I work too hard.” I think those people are communicating exactly what they want.
Sometimes diction plays a big part in communication, too, or miscommunication. The Pastor at my church was giving a children’s sermon the Sunday before school started. He told the kids he’d like them to take Jesus to school with them. Then he asked how they might do that. One little girl said, “In my lunch box.” Perplexed, the pastor asked how she would take Jesus to school in her lunch box. “Jesus?” she exclaimed. “Oh, I thought you said Chessits.”
Communication surely can be difficult. But we have to keep trying. Know what I’m sayin’?
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