Over time, words can change meaning or even become less "harsh" or "vulgar."

Comedian George Carlin, who died during the weekend, was a master of pointing out, and using, the eccentricities of words.

His most famous routine was "The seven words you can't say on television."

While it still hold true today, the language on television is much more liberal than it was 35 years ago.

With that, I've decided to give you, the reader, a chance to take a stroll back to years gone by with a game of Mad Libs using the text of that amazing routine as your skeleton to work with.

Of course with the limitations of language usage on this site, all the "naughty" words have become the fill-in-the-blanks.

While we cannot post your imaginative creations on this site if they contain unsavory language, feel free to e-mail them to me at bigjake9160@yahoo.com.

If nothing else, this should give you the chance to have a good laugh.

Enjoy.

* GEORGE CARLIN: "THE SEVEN WORDS YOU CAN'T SAY ON TELEVISION"

I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.

I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.

They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.

Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.

Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.

There are some people that are not into all the words.

There are some that would have you not use certain words.

There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are seven of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is: 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you seven, Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?

"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions and words. You know the seven, don't you, that you can't say on television?

"(adjective), (verb), (action), (place), (thing), (noun), and (object)"

Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul, curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.

"(adjective), (verb), (action), (place), (thing), (noun), and (object)"

Wow! And (verb) doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, (noun), come here,

Man. Hey (noun), meet Toots. Toots, (adjective). (adjective), Toots." It sounds like a snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist snack. I mean New Nabisco (thing-plural)! And new Cheese (object-plural), Corn (noun-plural), Pizza (thing-plural), Sesame (object-plural), Onion (noun-plural), Tater (thing-plural). "Betcha Can't Eat Just One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not completely insensitive to people's feelings. I can understand why some of those words got on the list, like (thing) and (noun). Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.

I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those Ks, those are aggressive sounds. They just jump out at you like "(thing), (noun). (action), (noun)."

It's like an assault on you. We mentioned (adjective) earlier, and two of the other four-letter Anglo-Saxon words are (verb) and (adjective), which go together of course. A little accidental humor there. The reason that (verb) and (adjective) are on the list is because a long time ago, there were certain ladies that said "Those are the two I am not going to say. I don't mind (action) and (adjective) but 'P' and 'C' are out," which led to such stupid sentences as "Okay you (adjective)ers, I'm going to (action) now."

And, of course, the word (action). I don't really, well that's more accidental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I think the word (action) is a very important word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said, "I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word (action) for the word Kill in all of those movie clichés we grew up with. "Okay,

Sheriff, we're gonna (action) you now, but we're gonna (action) you slow."

So maybe next year I'll have a whole (adjective)in' ramp on the N word.

I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any circumstances. You just cannot say them ever, ever, ever. Not even clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed, and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget those seven. They're out.

But there are some two-way words, those double-meaning words.

Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock

crowed three times" "Hey, tha cock crowed 3 times. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Hey, it's in the bible. Ha, ha, ha, ha. There are some two-way words, like it is okay for Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clemente has two balls on him," but he can't say, "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding them. He must've hurt them, by God," and the other two-way word that goes with that one is (noun). It's OK if it happens to your finger. You can (adjective) your finger but don't finger your (noun). No, no.