Quick, somebody get me a name tag!

A little off the top just doesn't cut it this time.

At about 12:30 a.m., Saturday, May 9, I will look like a totally different person.

In an effort to raise money for cancer research, I will be participating in the 2009 Clay County Relay for Life Event (6 p.m.-6 a.m., May 8-9), at the YMCA of Clay County.

However, it will be in a different capacity.

I will have two unique items/experiences up for grabs in the Silent Auction during the event.

One is my beard, which has become one of my major identifiers because of the unique white streak in it, which I explained the cause of in a previous blog.

The starting bid will be $20 and the winner at the end of the auction will be able to shave it off in the middle of the gymnasium at midnight during the event.

The other item is the main attraction.

When I pull my hair back into a ponytail, it measures at approximately 14-inches long, and the highest bidder for this item in the auction will have the special privilege to "Scalp the Mouth from the South."

Starting today and running through noon, May 8, I will be accepting donations in support of the scalping. One-time donations are preferred as the highest individual contributor will have the starting bid for this item in the Silent Auction, so it is imperative that if you are planning to donate a larger amount -- the site requests a minimum $5 donation -- that you are able to make it to the event.

Not only will the winner be able to cut off the ponytail, but they will also be listed as a contributor because I will be donating it to another wonderful and worthy cause -- Locks of Love.

Also, both winners will also have their pictures taken by a representative of The Brazil Times during the "scalping," which may appear in the newspaper and on the website, along with a glossy version of the photo as a keepsake from the event.

My friends and sources have been bugging me for months -- as a joke, of course -- about when I was going to cut my hair and trim my beard to look more "professional." I always shrug it off because I prefer my hair and beard long.

However, the "transformation" will not be unprecedented.

Other than minor trims of dead ends, this will be either my fourth or fifth haircut since 2000. I have created the habit of growing my hair long, then cutting it off, and the last couple times the beard has gone with it.

I have had one person tell me I'm going to need a name tag for a few weeks because no one will recognize me and I had another tell me to set up two tins, one for donations in favor of the "scalping," and one in favor of me keeping my hair and beard the way they are.

But just about everyone has agreed with my perspective that this is a perfect time to not only help one worthy cause, but two.

To donate to the scalping before the event, visit http://main.acsevents.org/goto/MouthFrom... to view my personal Relay For Life page, click "Donate" to make a one-time contribution to cancer research, and enter "Scalp" in the section titled "Personal Note to Whom You are Donating," to indicate your interest to "Scalp the Mouth from the South."

I will be announcing the top one-time contributor on my blog at noon, Friday, May 8, so keep your eyes peeled to see if you could be the lucky holder of the scissors.