photo from www.wikipedia.com Tina Fey entry

CC: GE, Viacom, Newscorp and Disney

Please come back soon. I have been subjected to hours upon hours of "Shot of Love with Tila Tequila" and "I Love New York," and I am not ready to be inundated with FOX's "reality" line-ups or another season of The Donald (or his toupee).

Where have you gone, "The Colbert Report?" Where is my daily dose of topical satire and irreverent interviews?

Are we doomed to speculation reports on Michael Vick's favorite lunch entrée in the clink, and the status of Britney's mama-drama for the rest of our days?

Please, please, someone pay Tina Fey for her content appearing on the web.

I don't think I can take another Mario Lopez appearance on "Dancing With the Stars."

If original sitcom and late night programming is not available, I will be forced to resort to my last line of entertainment, reading.

I know, I know, no one has read a book for entertainment in the last decade, but I'll do it. I have a whole mahogany shelf of rich, leather-bound volumes of paper pages collecting dust, just waiting to be explored.

I can read my book about the musical "Wicked," which is about a book, which is about a movie, which is based off of a book … I believe I've gone cross-eyed.

Or I can read Deanna Favre's book about overcoming her father-in-law and brother's deaths while battling breast cancer. I don't have time to wait for the Lifetime Original Movie if you all are still on strike.

Please don't force me to abandon my remote for the remote worlds in the pages of "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" and "A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

There are only so many reruns of "CSI: Miami" and "Will and Grace" a girl can watch without beginning to make obvious statements like David Caruso and whining like Debra Messing.

So please, please stop writing amusing picket line signs and performing live and online skits. I promise I'll pay for iTunes from now on!

Sincerely,

Melinda Quasius

Television Devotee