It all started Tuesday.
After I went home from lunch, I started feeling strange. I went home again to rest for a little bit more and nothing was helping. I decided to lay in bed for a while, but couldn't fall asleep.
By the time I came back to the office to help with election coverage, I was feeling pretty bad.
I haven't really gotten any better.
But the chills are gone.
Still, I got to think a lot Saturday and Sunday morning about how much I've missed since the birth of my son.
And how much more I'm probably going to miss as he gets older and older.
Thank God for digital cameras.
If we didn't have one, I'd probably miss almost everything.
I miss a lot of one-on-one time with James David, something I think is very important.
I miss a lot of play time with him. Because of this, when we do play, I try real hard to make every second count.
What I worry about is missing his first steps, the first time he takes off running through the house, the first real temper tantrum (although I've been told I've missed a few already).
Our job at the paper requires a lot of hours, meaning little sleep, not enough time to maintain proper health and more.
I have ran myself into the ground during the past few months and consequently, I found myself paying for it last week and probably into this week.
But I don't want James David to miss me like I miss him.
I hope when he starts talking regularly he doesn't ask his mother why I'm not home all the time. For that matter, I hope he doesn't have to ask me that.
I hope, by that time, I can find more balance in life.
It's easy to lose balance on either side at any given moment.
Sometimes, you don't even realize when the balance is off.
Because I may not be there as much as I'd like, I tend to try to make every second count.
I admit, I want and need to spend more time with my wife and my son. I hope in the past few days they haven't tired of me during my sickness as I have been at home a little more than usual.
Being there made me realize what I have been missing. Family.