“You never look a gift horse in the mouth,” Grandma Iva would tell me as a child. 

What would you do with $10?
Or, do you want a “gift horse” or not?

That snappy theme song from the Klondike Bar commercial is now stuck in my head, and not for a good reason.
The words were slightly modified after recently sitting in an Indianapolis restaurant near a holiday-themed office party (Not sure, but they didn’t seem friendly enough to be viable friends outside of the workplace).
There was a Dirty Santa gift exchange going on with apparently a gift limit set at $10. There were hoots and hollers of pretend excitement as the packages were opened, stolen and then bantered over which one was the best. It’s a reporter’s job at times to eavesdrop, and it’s a terrible skill to acquire. Even harder to stop using once you master the subtleties of being able to do it without being caught.
My husband was away from the table, so I admit I was listening in his absence. It sounded like good fun at the nearby table, until the laughter stopped and I heard: “What’s that?”
“A Starbucks gift card.”
“How much?”
“$10.”
“What would you do with that?”
That’s when I realized something was wrong. Either no one paid attention to the purchase limit for all the other packages that were opened, or I was apparently eavesdropping on a bunch of petty snobs who really think there’s something wrong with receiving a $10 gift card.
It couldn’t be Starbucks was the wrong thing, could it? It’s expensive, but I like a treat from there from once in a while.
(In case you are wondering about the commercial, it popped up on a nearby television at that moment.)
I couldn’t help but think: REALLY?
A $10 gift card is like someone handing you a $10 bill, right?
Maybe it can only be spent in one place, but it’s $10 you didn’t have before you got it. Right?
Standing at a checkout lane on Black Friday I overheard someone grumble about gift certificates, equating them to “useless coupons.”
If someone gives me a $10, $20 or even a $5 gift certificate for something, I’m using it. My budget is so tight if I was given a coupon that saves me a couple bucks as a gift I’m happy.
My grandparents taught me to never be ungrateful for a gift.
“You never look a gift horse in the mouth,” Grandma Iva would tell me as a child.
It was explained that a person might not have enough to give the best presents, and they might give away something they made as a gift. A handmade gift was supposed to be the ultimate gift according to my elders because someone took the time to create a present unique for the person.
Honestly, my 5-year-old self got very upset when we didn’t get a horse for Christmas. Hate to admit it, but the phrase had to be explained again and again as I grew up when on other occasions that so-called promised horse didn’t show up, or the ball-throwing-doll I wanted, or the year no pet gerbil was under the tree, or I didn’t get a new bicycle.
(What I didn’t realize then, but grew to hate when I finally did, was all the best presents a normal kid expects for Christmas were actually wrapped in birthday paper and left to wait four more torturous days until my birthday on the 29th. I actually hated my birthday so much because of that, I stopped opening birthday presents in retaliation, and left them under the tree to prove how angry I was. The family would be like “It’s time to open your birthday presents,” and I’d pretend to be asleep to ignore them or take the trash out, lingering outside in the cold to make them wait. I showed them, but not really. They thought it was quite funny. It’s part of the reason why at 53-years-old I don’t open presents at Christmas or my birthday while everyone else does. I have no expectation of receiving gifts, but if I get some, I open mine later, usually by myself.)
Before becoming a teenager, I think the implications of the phrase “gift horse” finally took root, and the meaning of gifts forever changed for me. Maybe it was being a part of helping another family receive a good Christmas during hard times that helped me see the value of a giving heart. Perhaps it was witnessing a crying mother stand in the doorway of her simple home on Christmas Eve as the tree and the trimmings, presents for the adults, groceries and some new clothes and toys for the sleeping children were delivered for her sleeping family to wake up to can change your perspective on a lot of things.
Maybe it was going home to realize my father didn’t get a Christmas bonus that year, but we still had presents under our tree and was able to help someone else. Maybe it was because that year there weren’t birthday presents under the tree anymore. I had won the “birthday war” with my family, but it felt like an empty victory over time.
Maybe I had finally matured enough that all the lessons explained by family members from before didn’t need to be taught again.
Looking back now with 20/20 hindsight, I still don’t need the lesson of the “gift horse” explained to me.
But I wonder if the lesson needs to be broadcast on television for next year, probably starting in January so the point will be made before the Christmas ornaments come back out on the shelves in September.
So, before any gifts have to be purchased or given in 2019, I offer up some wisdom from my family elders:
The best part of giving or receiving a gift is the process of thinking about what makes the gift unique for the person who will get the gift.
If all a person can afford is a $5 or a $10 gift card, then be thankful for getting it. It’s something you didn’t have before that moment. Even if it’s something you can’t use, another person who is supposed to be your friend or family member took the time to give it to you.
Remember, not everyone has that in their lives. Be thankful for you do.
If the gift is something you can’t use, pay it forward to someone who can or needs it more than you. Do so with love and purpose in your heart. When asked if you were able to use it, just say “yes” and “thank you” again for their generosity.
What would you do with $10 gift card?
I got one this year, and I plan on using it the next time I need to stop at the gas station. That’s a half-tank of gas I don’t have to pay for, and I am VERY GRATEFUL for that! Here’s hoping all your “gift horses” will be put to good use this year!