Like, did hell freeze over and no one told me?

Like, did hell freeze over

and no one told me?

Did hell freeze over and I didn’t get the memo?

Did you ever hear someone say, “When pigs fly?” You’ve probably said it yourself at one time or another. That phrase is an adynaton — a figure of speech. It’s a way to say that something is probably not going to happen. It’s often used for humorous effect.

There’s another phrase we frequently use that’s even stronger, “when hell freezes over.” When we use that phrase we usually believe that something is absolutely never going to happen. It may be said for humorous effect or to express sarcasm, anger or to show control.

I’ve observed some situations where I think “when hell freezes over” would apply.

Have you ever been talking with someone under 50 who’s repeating a conversation they had previously? It sounds something like this.

“She asked me to do this. And I’m like, I don’t want to. And she’s like, why not? And I’m like, because. And she’s like, because why? And I’m like, not your concern.” All I ever hear is “I’m like. She’s like. He’s like.” Like, like, like. What ever happened to the word, said? Remember grade-school English, he said, she said, it said? It seems that said has been removed from the modern-day vocabulary. And hell will probably freeze over before you hear a Gen X or Millennial say the word said. Check it out.

And have you ever called your pre-teen, teenage or even adult child or grandchild on their cell phone? It rings and rings and rings but no one answers. Then you text them and they respond within five seconds. So you know they had their phone and heard it ring. I don’t know why they “talk” only by texting now. I’m pretty sure they won’t answer a phone call until hell freezes over.

Remember when everybody asked, “When will the Cubs win the World Series?” Or, “When will we ever have a black president?” The answer used to be when hell freezes over. We can’t say that about either of those now. But the answer remains the same if we tweak the question a little.

Such as, when will the Colts go to another Super Bowl or when will there be a woman president?

And speaking of presidents, I had a conversation about President Trump with a friend of mine the other day.

She said she didn’t know how any woman, Hispanic or minority could have voted for him after all the negative, mean-spirited, sexist things he’d said about them. And when he was confronted about some of his comments he denied that he’d said those things even though they’d been taped and frequently repeated on TV.

Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway recently used the term “alternative facts.” She was referring to the press secretary at the time but one has to wonder if President Trump uses “alternative facts” to explain how we did not hear what we heard him say.

My friend asked, “When he says something inappropriate and hurtful and he’s called on it, why doesn’t he just say, “I made a mistake. I was wrong and I apologize.”

When that happens that’s when I’ll say, “Did hell freeze over and I didn’t get the memo?”

The fiery pits are still burning.

Keep Smiling.

Linda Messmer can be reached at 812-448-8725.